Facing the truth: Receiving my Parkinson’s diagnosis
Hello everyone,
In my last blog, I shared how I began to notice that something wasn’t quite right – the subtle signs and early suspicions. Today, I want to talk about the moment those suspicions became real: receiving my diagnosis.
Looking back, I was very fortunate to receive my diagnosis rather quickly. It was around August or September when I noticed the first signs, and by January, I had a confirmed diagnosis. The neurologist I was referred to was very experienced, and even though I was in the early phase of the disease with very mild symptoms, she recognized the symptoms and interpreted them correctly.
Although my time to diagnosis was short, it was worrisome. At the time, the only symptom I had was my shaking hand, and it did not affect me much. But in addition, I felt exhausted, which I did not recognize as a symptom back then. Of course, I was worried about what was wrong and if my suspicion that I might have Parkinson’s is true.
In a way, it was relieving to get a diagnosis – to understand what was wrong, and being able to get treatment. But that relief quickly turned into worry about the consequences of the disease. Questions like ‘What’s next?’, ‘What’s the right treatment?’, and ‘How will I be able to live with the disease?’ arose. At home, my wife and I had a lot of discussions and worries about the future, even doubts about whether the diagnosis would be correct. For me personally, it was difficult to accept the problems with my health. I was especially concerned about how I would be able to manage work-life. Work was very important to me, both financially and personally. It gave my life structure, and I enjoyed what I did.
At first, I ignored my diagnosis and kept it a secret. I did not tell anybody, not at work and not even my friends. I continued working at full speed, hoping that if I just ignored it, things would stay the same. I guess it was also a way of escape for me. However, I was struggling. Looking back, I should have slowed down in many ways.
During that time, I avoided anything related to Parkinson’s – I didn’t attend events, didn’t seek out more information, and kept everything to myself. I just wasn’t ready. Afterwards, I regret – I would have benefited from understanding more about the disease and how it will impact me in the future.
It took me about six months to come to terms with the condition, and still, I did not tell many people. Emotionally, it was a very intense period. I felt relief, yes – but also irritation. Relief because I finally knew what was wrong and could get help and treatment. And irritation, because there is still no cure for Parkinson’s, and treatment only helps control the symptoms. And then, of course, worries about what my future will look like and how long I will be able to continue to work in my job. Still, I was only in the early phase of the disease with very mild symptoms.
The diagnosis changed my life. Not all at once, but gradually. In my next blogs, I’ll share more about those changes and my new life with Parkinson’s.
Yours,
Riaz
Riaz Zabihian
Riaz is Adamant Health's patient voice. He has been living with Parkinson’s disease for over a decade. In his blog, Riaz will share his personal experience of life with Parkinson's disease to provide support, inspiration, and practical advice for others affected by the condition.